Reason

Ferris Bueller — ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’

Selfishly - I wanted to start off by setting the stage for why I’m doing this. I’m not sure what the style of this blog is going to be in the future, but what I aim to do is to provide a narrative and rationale for why I think trying new things and being a beginner is not something anyone should be afraid of. I know that this is not true for me currently. To that end, I want to document my thoughts and experiences on trying new things. Hopefully this can give someone else the confidence to dive into something new that they have been holding off on, or even to find joy in an old flame after coming to terms with whatever is mentally blocking them from enjoying it.

I want to provide some background on my pathology. I have always been terrible at finishing things, but at some point, I also started becoming terrible at starting things. As a kid, I enjoyed drawing comics, writing and playing music, singing, among other things. I had no skill or training in any of these things. No thoughts about what made me qualified to do these things. I didn’t compare myself with other people. The thought I shouldn’t bother because other people were so much better than me at these things never once crossed my mind. Life was spontaneous. I started doing things just because I found them interesting. I enjoyed my time with these hobbies. Even though my family was relatively poor when I was growing up, I enjoyed most of my childhood. These days things are different. If I can’t do something I can become really good at or make money from, then why bother? Why spend all that time to become mediocre, when I can find that perfect thing I can become the best at? But what happens if all you’ve ever been was mediocre at everything you’ve ever done? What happens is that you get stuck before you even start, and if you manage to start, you won’t enjoy it unless you can be good at it. How do you even know you would be good at something without putting the time in?

I grew up with the expectation that I would work hard, get a good traditional job, accrue assets, have kids, build generational wealth, and hand life off to the next generation. At one point in my youth I wanted to pursue my interests in music and start a band. My dad dissuaded me from trying, as he said the chances for success were very slim. I agreed with him, after all, I was mediocre at best. These days I spend most of my time working, saving, investing. I now have some money, but no passion for life. In some people’s eyes, this might be the right way to live life. However, the only thing this mindset has left me with most nights is crippling depression.

For me, it’s not easy to escape this kind of mindset. I have responsibilities now, so work is work. However, I want to recapture some of that mentality from my youth. Were I can just do things for fun and no other reason. Where I’m not afraid to try something new on a whim. In a world where most of us are stuck in the 9-5 rat race, or grinding away at our next side hustle, I think we can all use a bit of that youthfulness. After all, no amount of money or prestige isn’t going to help us make sense of this world.